It’s been an amazing couple of days. I have continued to eat exclusively from my porringer and everything felt easy and hunger was quite mild. Each day, I am feeling better both from a consistent amount of food eaten and from the cold abating.
Saturday night, husband brought home a marzipan block for me as a treat. I have yet to effectively deal with this occasional situation that he brings to me. I will write more about that at another time. I ate the whole block at a cost of 918 calories and 95g carbs which was completely unnecessary. I found myself needing to know the cost and then I sat with those numbers in my head, which only caused stress and an emotional reaction. I had to stop and think in different terms. It matters not about the calories or carbs as much as it matters that it was effectively the 4th bowl of food for the day. I am still trying to change my thought patterns about not thinking about numbers as a reason to eat or not eat something. I shouldn’t have eaten it because it was the 4th bowl, not because of the numbers. Simple.
I did get on the scale yesterday, not that I wanted to, I was dismayed to see the weight gain, although I cannot say I wasn’t expecting it. At least I have a point of which to gauge in the months to come if this method is working for me ( I did take a photo but won’t post it until I feel a weight loss in other terms than the scale. I need to set that whole issue aside for now, otherwise my binge monster will use it against me, lol.
This is the end of the weekend, which is much easier for me eating-wise than the weekdays. Tomorrow will be a challenge, as I nearly always binge on Mondays. I will need to go to the shops for eggs and meat, so that doubles up the chances for a binge. Right now, I feel strong and determined not to. I remind myself that I like how I feel right now, in this moment, content, not hungry and not full. This is the sweet spot, the way I like to feel. My head is not swarming with numbers, I am not fighting a diet dilemma and I am at ease emotionally. A binge would disrupt that easy flow.