Yesterday I made it, three porringers of food completed my eating day. When we sat down last night to the last meal, I noted that I was about to have the third bowl of food for the day and I was not at all hungry! I think I finally hit ketosis. It always feels like a switch is flipped. I go from wanting to eat everything in sight to loathing food in a blink of an eye. This is exactly where I prefer being….no appetite. I actually feel a sense of wellbeing this morning, so I am determined to take a walk today, as soon as it gets light out. I hate walking in the dark and right now, the sun isn’t coming up until half past 8 or so. It is only 5 right now. Sigh. I am craving to walk, I have been cooped up in the flat too long with the cold and illness.
So, with one day on plan, ED decided to try and talk me into getting on the scale this morning. One single day eating correctly and he wants to ruin it with a scale number that more likely than not will not show how one day made a change in my body. He knows that, he wants to prove to me that the valiant effort to stay on plan did not achieve a scale victory and with his logic, means I am a failure. A million times before, I listened to ED and got on the scale hoping for a drop to register. A million times it did not. A million times I got frustrated about it and binged in loathing self pity. Knowing this pattern so intimately still did not stop ED from trying to lure me once again. That scale, I reminded myself, cannot possible tell me about true success. I ate according to the plan yesterday and that alone is the wondrous victory to be celebrated and built upon.
I did well yesterday, lets see if I can do that again today!
The scale has no part in this triumph, it is a completely separate thing from eating. I did not weigh myself today, in fact, as I walked by it, I pushed it further under the armoire with my toe to drown out it’s pleading to be stepped on. I even smiled at the thought….geez, does the scale have a sick need to be abused? Pleading to be stepped on? I think my humour is coming back too!
Wellbeing=good humour and smiles.
Porringer number 2
Porringer 1- 2 eggs, 2 rashers
Porringer 2- 1 cumberland, 2 rashers, 1 scrambled egg, shredded cheddar cheese, carrot, cauliflower, parsley
Porringer 3- 1/2 chicken breast, broccoli, cabbage, 2 cumberland, 2 T brown gravy
3 pots of tea
1 glass of wine
4 coffee with 2 tsp. double cream in each
1/2 small glass of Guinness