Amulets of Protection

Ketosis=wellbeing.

It takes longer to get into ketosis.  It use to take about 4 days, now about 2 weeks.  True body-adaptive ketosis takes about 2-6 weeks. 

Ketosis has many benefits to me.  It evens out my mood swings.  It is effectively like being on Prozac.  Sometimes it even feels like zombiehood, I am not as emotionally reactive.  My appetite plummets, I begin to eat less naturally without thinking about it.  My hard round stomach begins to deflate, my ankles and hands take on more definition as the fluid begins to leave my body.  More importantly, my blood sugar hits and stays in the normal range, from the 200’s to the 80’s and 90’s.  The binge beast within starts to slumber.  What is not to relish about being in ketosis?  It feels like wellbeing to me!  I feel protected by the amulet of ketosis.  But there is the danger, feeling protected allows the enemy to slip through the crack of vulnerability.

Last night, I watched a vlog of an obese man who has just lost 29 pounds in 12 weeks on a low carb diet and is so thrilled, his whole being lit up describing how well he felt being in ketosis.  I smiled too, knowing how truly is the best thing to ever happen to an obese person struggling with appetite and hunger.  Eating unrefined fats, meats and green veggies can do miracles.  Then, in one stroke, one unguarded moment, ED slipped right in.  The man said that he loves eating low carb and enjoys the foods, but he’ll probably have a LITTLE cheat during Christmas because, as ED pointed out, it IS a holiday after all and this IS the real world.  My heart sank when I heard the words.  OMG.  ED talking through this man.  He did not hear it, but I did. 

One little cheat couldn’t hurt, right?  How many MILLIONS of times have I heard that before and believed it?  How many millions of times have I fallen into that trap?  I would not be obese today, had I just once and for all time stayed on my low carb diet.  The diet that I truly love the foods I can eat, feel satisfied and more importantly, can hear my body sing in happiness!  It’s absolute madness to leave ketosis and this diet. 

Yet, even with knowing that madness, remembering my own history with bingeing and dieting, even with all the scientific evidence, even with all the wealth of information on the health aspects, my own ED voice continues.  Today, I have to get whatever Scottish treats I can fit into the Christmas boxes I am sending to my parents and to my daughter and grandchildren.  As I tried to sort out what to buy, who would like what, I imagined the tastes and thought about the potential extra’s that would not fit in the boxes and that they would start to entice me into eating them.  The one thing ketosis does not do is stop ED’s voice.  Ketosis does lower the voice, but does not drown it out altogether.  As I wondered yesterday if I should bake husband’s favourite ginger biscuits, as I thought about what to serve for Christmas dinner, ED gathered strength.  This is HIS territory, he’s prepared to battle me to hold his ground.  Gee, and didn’t it cross my mind while preparing the grocery list that I miss salty oat porridge?  It’s so cheap!  I could have it for lunch and save money!

That vlog helped me realise that I am not in a protected zone at all.  Ketosis is health and wellbeing, it cannot protect me from the binge beast.  I never thought about it in quite this way before.  Perhaps because I never comprehended that I had an eating disorder.  As the SOS group reminds me every day, DON’T, NO MATTER WHAT.  That is the only thing that works.  I need to stop thinking there is an amulet to rely on.

I am heading in the right direction, but I am still learning.

Yesterday’s meals:
Porringer 1- 2 eggs, 2 rashers
Porringer 2- plain full fat yogurt
Porringer 3- 2 1/2 cumberland sausages, grated carrot, cauliflower, 2T brown gravy
Porringer 4- kebab meat, broccoli, brussel sprouts, onion, butter

Yesterday’s drinks:
3 pots of tea
1 glass of wine
4 cups of coffee with 2 tsp. double cream in each

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4 thoughts on “Amulets of Protection

  1. ephemeralana says:

    I didn’t really know that about ketosis. seems like things are going pretty good for you.

    • Thanks so much for the encouragement. The longest I have stayed on a ketogenic diet is about 4 months. I have stayed regular low carb much longer. I lost 88 pounds on low carb/ketogenic, so I know it works. It’s the ED that messes it up, not the diet. I love the foods, I love how it feels, and HATE the binges and those foods. I understand now that it isn’t the food I want, when I use to think it was all about getting carbs after not having them. No, it was trying to get the food coma effect of eating them, like a drug to dull whatever emotion I was going through and did not want to experience. I am really hoping to stay as aware as I can about the process this time, not thinking of it as a weight loss diet, but as a way to keep ED silent.

    • Ketosis is marvelous. It suppresses the appetite like nothing I have ever experienced. But one has to get past the fat is bad lie.

  2. nothingeverstaysthesame says:

    I went on the Keto diet over summer, its amazing if you can stick with it! One of the most effective diets out there. My ED starting playing up because I was eating sausages and eggs everyday and I couldn’t cope with the stress of it. I promise you, sticking to the keto diet will help you so much, not just physically, but emotionally, think about how well you’ve done to keep it up for this long and how well you’re doing to fight the craving to binge! Im proud of you 🙂

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