Porringer 1- 2 eggs, 2 rashers, 2 cup coffee with 4 tsp. double cream
Porringer 2- pot of tea, pot of pate
Porringer 3- 2 glasses of wine, baked cod fish, melted butter, creamed spinach
Evening coffee- 2 cup coffee with 4 tsp double cream, small dark chocolate bar
11pm: assorted cheeses, salami, whisky
Husband’s lamb chops, my cod.
Nothing happened in our little burgh last night to celebrate Hogmanay. Nada. At least not on the streets, there may have been lots of private parties. The idiot in the flat below us who hollers in a drunken rage nearly every evening, kept his appointed time, but it seemed not to have anything to do with Hogmanay. There were no people on the streets, the pub across from us had few people lounging outside for their smokes. We stayed up until 11:45 and went to bed out of pure boredom laced with the tiredness that comes in middle age. These late night holidays lose their lustre.
Irish coffee and chocolate.
I had an interesting experience yesterday, I had a ho-hum reaction to drinking whisky. I drank some in my coffee, then had a glass with a film because I had looked forward to it. I sipped it slowly and felt that it was rough and not as delightful of a taste as I use to think it was. I sort of enjoyed it, but more in a celebratory way and not because I really wanted it. I am not sure what I am trying to say, but it seems booze has lost it’s exalted status in my mind.
The chocolate too was good, fine and melty rich, but one bite made me nearly recoil. I thought to myself, these treats that have been revered and coveted have somehow lost their magical appeal. What I really thoroughly enjoyed the most yesterday was the cod with melted butter and the cheese and salami. Those foods made me smile inside. I never thought I would feel that way about booze or chocolate. I knew it was more than just this experience, because the last few times I had these things, I felt the same way. After the two shots of whisky, I felt it’s roughness and had a stop inner STOP. So I did. It seems my body didn’t want it either. Is this all an aging thing? Does nature step in and make us protect ourselves from stuff we no longer have use of? Husband was amazed when he saw the bottle still had whisky in it this morning.
Husband was in last supper mode yesterday, snack eating nearly all day and again right after dinner. He was so stuffed he moaned. Before we fell asleep, we talked about what to do and I said the best laid foundation is to eat three meals a day and drop the between meal eating completely. I believe it’s best to continue to adjust the three meals until they work, whether to feel better nutritionally, or to maintain weight or even to lose weight. It’s the simplest form of managed eating there can be. Easy peasy. He agreed but he has two more days off of work and there is ice cream in the freezer and candy in the cupboard and he will be struggling. I am sure he will find his momentum, but I know what it is like for days after overeating, it is so hard to get that dragon back to sleep.
This morning, we had our usual breakfast and watched the rain.
It is 9am and you can see how dark it is. It will get this dark around 3pm too.
That is husband’s chair, mine has a red shawl over the back. It is where I sit when writing here, for the most part, my little world. We don’t watch TV (or have one) so husband puts BBC news on and we can see it from the table. Some day this desk set will be in a den and we can have a couple of leather comfortable sitting chairs again. I miss having a reading place.
If you are interested in history, the kitchen area was originally two bed closets, one facing this room and the other facing the back room. Where the desk back is, was the fireplace. This was the main room. Our bedroom was the large kitchen. These old flats were all designed the same, and we see the same set up in the flats we look at all over Scotland. Husband is determined to move this year north, to be closer to work. We’ll see what happens. If I start work here, it may not be necessary to move. If I don’t find work, he wants to save on the train fare.
I have continued to give it a lot of thought about any changes I might want to do for 2013, and there are a few small ones. I noticed for quite some time that my habit of drinking two cups of coffee is more ingrained than it is a desire for it. I often sip the second cup and wonder why I am drinking it. I am getting a STOP about it more often than not, so I am going to experiment with just serving myself one cup.
I had also been giving thought to my carbohydrate intake and my diabetes. I am out of test strips and can no longer monitor my blood sugar readings. When I was at the doctor’s, she tested and said I was fine. While I do binge on sweets, my normal everyday diet is pretty low in carbs. My highest carbs come from the wine, carrots, sausages and sauces. I thought about getting back to a ketogenic level, but I still have to tread water in this realm, it can so easily spark reactive crap, like soon wanting to count, weigh, compare, log data, create charts…..and the usual resentment builds, the panic sets in and creates rules and more restrictions and soon I am back in the clutches of ED and his lurid seductions.
I think it is best to focus not so much about what I put in my porringer but more on the number of times I fill it a day. I think I would like to stick to three and as I suggested to husband, learn to adjust the amount and type of food to make it work. I have already mentioned this idea several times in my posts, but I am still trying to sort it in my head so that I grasp the truth of it and not just create a rule to be easily messed with.