Teacakes

Tuesday’s Meals:
Porringer 1- 2 eggs, 2 rasher, 2 cups coffee with double cream
Porringer 2- liver pate, soft boiled egg, cheese cubes, 1 oatcake with butter and cheese, pot of tea
Porringer 3-  Chicken breast, smoked sausage, zucchini, mushroom, spring onion in carbonara sauce,  2 glasses wine
2 cups coffee with double cream, teacakes (see photo)

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I am not going to call the teacakes last night that I had a binge.  There wasn’t any binge behaviour behind it, it was simply a celebration that my residency is now final and all the documents have been returned.  So we squeezed one more glass wine each out of the wine box and cracked open the biscuits at coffee time.    I enjoyed them and yet they did not overpower me and I was able to stop any compulsion to eat more easy enough.  It will have knocked me out of ketosis but that can be regained.   The plate they are resting on is 5 inches across not a regular plate.  I am wary, I do realize that this is easily a bad path to start wandering down. 

Husband is home yet another day sick. I am getting outside for a bit as I really need it. Icy cold though. I have to turn in my application for health care at the local surgery and stop at the shop for something to make yet another pot of soup for the sick one.    I really want to look at Christmas things and decorate the flat.  Maybe tomorrow as it is easier to do when I can take the time to decide it all, as there are way too many distractions with a husband home.  Already he is scheduling my day….sigh.

We had a long talk last night at the dinner table about the residency, re-affirming our future plans and it moved into what we each really want in the long run.  Kind of a candid moment between us, but I knew it was coming (with the residency now in hand)….he really wants me to work.  He wants more income so that we can save for the retirement house.  We had agreed on this when we sold our home, but it is getting harder to work these days, we are so much older, tire more easily and the brain isn’t as sharp as it use to be.  Whether anyone will hire me at my age is one thing, with the economy is another and the fact I am not a UK citizen is another, my chances of employment are most likely pretty slim.  I also do not want to go back to my career as an accountant, I shudder the thought of it.  So the days ahead in that department is going to cause me stress and discomfort.  I’ve only been unemployed since April, so it is not a huge issue just yet. 

Otherwise, the inner calm is remaining, still feeling rather stoic and quiet, wishing for some alone time to gather my own thoughts.  I will have maybe two days this week to myself and then husband is home for the weekend already.  He has a lot of time off this month too, so I doubt this month I will be able to concentrate on much of anything.  I don’t mind him home, it just that it means more concentration on his comforts and needs and it makes me shake my head to think of working again AND still keeping house, shopping, cooking and laundry.